Can I share something with you guys?
I have been struggling with wanting to take the next step in my career but it hasn’t been happening the way I wanted or in the timing I was expecting. I found myself getting frustrated and impatient. I thought I deserved a promotion a while ago and it was not coming to pass. I started to think “maybe I am not good enough” or some other negative thing. I was praying prayers for promotion night after night until a few nights ago Jesus stopped me.
He asked me why I was even worrying about that? Why I was thinking so small… What?!! He told me He has bigger things for me than this. He told me He is working out my true desires. He said He is working on things I know not of. Just keep my eyes fixed on Him and He will lead me to more than I could ever imagine. It was so encouraging to me because it reminded me that He is in control. No one else is.
But then a day later one of my peers said something to me that got me discouraged. My mind went into negative thinking again. Maybe they don’t want me to get promoted. Maybe this maybe that. I was venting to a friend when she stopped me. I am so thankful for Godly friends! She said am I going to throw what God said to me away because of what someone said? “That is so stupid” she said. Ha! Ha!
I found myself repenting last night for selfish prayers. Yesterday I was starting to realize that I am in a great place. I have a job, I am healthy, I am doing awesome things with Agape Love Mine that gives me such joy. Jesus had just given me a Word and I totally through it out the window for my feelings or because of what one person said. Why was I focusing on the immediate instead of keeping my eyes on Him and focusing on the ultimate? Why was I not putting my trust in Him and Him alone?! I repented. Then something amazing happened.
He gave me a dream last night. In the dream, I was in my current role as I am today but my director was asking me to take another director position. Granted, a director level typically needs 10 years of experience. I remember in the dream feeling completely under- qualified but my director said he sees great things in me and even though this kind of move never happens, he thinks I would be best for the job. And I took it with confidence knowing I was capable. I went from an entry level position to a executive leadership position.
When I woke from the dream I felt it taught me that it doesn’t matter what it looks like or what people say about where I am supposed to go next or how much of this or that I need to go here or there. With Jesus anything is possible. Not only that, but the ultimate will happen with him.
It doesn’t end there!
I was walking into work this morning and all of a sudden He asked “Do you want this 10% increase or to receive 100 fold?”. Wow. Out of no where! That put me in my place. 100 fold I replied. He said “then declare it and stop fixing your eyes on the 10%. Keep your eyes on Me and you can have what you say!”.
God is working out bigger things we could ever imagine. He wants more than us than we even know. This made me switch my prayers from thinking about a short term desire to praying to prepare me for my ultimate desire. To help me focus my eyes on Him and do His will where I am. I want His ultimate desire for me, not an immediate want. “He is my shepherd, I shall not want” Psalm 23:1. You see, when we have Jesus, we have everything. He is so good, He wants to give us so much more.
Thank you Jesus.